Some Fairy Tales Come True

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The Fairy Tale
I was a dreamer from the moment I opened my eyes and drew my first lungful of air.  God built me that way for His pleasure.  So, as I learned to read, it was fairy tales that drew me.  At eight I acquired a stepmother who wasn’t particularly fond of my brand of charm, I think….or my love of reading.  She mocked me and my fairy tales until I  didn’t read them anymore.  This mockery left a scar I wasn’t even aware of.
I became a Christian at twenty three and developed what others considered a strange intimacy with Jesus.  I could be praying and find myself transported.  He came to me in dreams, spoke to me.  Being young, foolish and sinful in my own right, I ultimately decided that what other Christians around me said must be right and that there was something wrong with this.  My strange intimacy with my Savior ended abruptly, to my shame.  I believe I was still saved.  I still went to church, prayed, had answered prayer and read my Bible.  But the warmth and depth…the “life abundantly” part was gone.  The world likes for Christians to think that verse is about worldly goods, but I’m convinced it’s much richer than that and I had laid hold of it, and then let it go.

Thankfully, twenty years and a long, painful road later, He helped me to reach for Him in earnest once more.

Along the walk of my renewed intimacy with Jesus, He walked me back into my childhood, showing me how He had been there, even then.  He also wanted me to see that I had always been looking just for him.  The first thing He showed me was a scene from when I was four.  My father told me the story of the star of Bethlehem on Christmas Eve.  So I abandoned my new toys under the Christmas tree and went running to the window, sure I would see Jesus’ star for myself if I looked long and hard enough.  I had forgotten that memory until He brought it back to me.  A four year old, abandoning a new Wonder Woman doll to look for Him.  I was in love already, and I had just learned His name.

Years ago, I made it as far as the floor of His throne room during my prayer time with Him, but never had the nerve to raise my eyes beyond the floor.  I opened them often and saw my reflection in the polished gold that made up the tile my nose was pressed against, but I never got any further than that.  Sometimes I would open my mouth and sing to Him from there, my loving praise moving like water to pool on the floor of the throne room until it filled the floor and moved like a tide, rippling up to reach His feet.  I met Him there many times, but fear and shame that weren’t mine to carry kept me from ever looking up or meeting His wonderful eyes.

I’m blessed now with wisdom and knowledge.  After several weeks of visits with Him in my home, I asked where He would like for us to talk and found myself standing in His throne room….yes…standing, for the first time.  I could literally feel His smile.  Now I can say that I’ve even been up the steps to His throne.  Then, to my quiet horror, He moved over and gestured that I should sit beside Him.  While I was shaking my head and beginning to sputter, He gave me the patient wry smile He has that says I don’t understand and should just do what I’m told.  (He uses that a lot with me.)  He smiled and gestured again.  Obediently, I sat and turned to look out with Him over His kingdom.  Later, I read, “To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne, Revelation 3:21.”  I had no idea at the time what He was doing, or what it meant until He led me later to that verse.

That same visit with Him, I looked up and noticed that there were pillars in His throne room, but no ceiling.  The sky was a lovely pinkish gold that swirled above Him.  But I asked Him why there was no ceiling.  He said, “Because Heaven is my throne and the Earth is my footstool.”  Again, He was quoting.  And again, I didn’t know what He was quoting.  It turned out that I would find later that it was Isaiah.  “Thus saith the Lord, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: where is the house that ye build unto me? and where is the place of my rest?”  Isaiah 66:1.  Even He won’t contain Himself.  I thought that was amazing.

Sadly, over the last few months, I sat aside these details, pretending that they didn’t happen or were just a fond wish.  I believe.  I love my Savior very, very much.  I long to be with Him and speak with Him for hours every day, but those intimate moments stopped.  I had become afraid.

A quiet, scornful whisper had invaded my heart, a memory of the mockery of believing in fairy tales.  After all, who gets wedding gowns with veils burnished in gold and silver, golden wreaths of leaves to wear as a crown and marriage to a king?  Who are you?  Royalty?  Do you believe in fairy tales, little girl?  The mockery thick in the remembered words from long ago, my hope deflated.  (Even typing that makes my eyes fill with tears.)  The saddest, most frightening part is that it was all under the radar.  I never made a conscious decision that I was being silly and indulging in little girl dreams.  It was a quiet, fearful process of pulling away that I wasn’t even aware of….and all the while, I hurt Him.

So, I sat aside my “fairy tale” with Jesus for the day to day.  My relationship with Him was still warm and loving, but not as warm, and not as loving as it should have been.  I didn’t even know I had done it.

I read someone else’s experience here, on this blog actually that was similar and realized what I had done.  So I sat aside everything and went into my room, closed my door, turned off my light and sat down with Him.  He will ask me sometimes to sing for Him.  He likes for me to sing, I think because it’s something I only do for Him, but I couldn’t.  I opened my mouth to try but started to cry instead, which had Him rushing close.  I gasped out my apologies and felt the room fill with the sharp pang of the hurt I had inflicted on Him for only a second.  I really didn’t know and He was aware of that, and of why it had happened.

Images rushed into my mind.  My dress, my veil, the crown that waits for me.  The fact that He won’t show me my ring because He says it’s a surprise.  He took my hand in His and said quietly, “This is my fairy tale, too, Rhonda.”

His words stopped my fears, stopped the power of the mockery from so long ago.  He makes it perfectly alright to not only believe in fairy tales, but to live them, forever.

 

Shared by Rhonda J.

11 thoughts on “Some Fairy Tales Come True

  1. Wow.. thanks so much for sharing this… sad to say that when I was 4 years old, I never thought about Jesus.. only myself and my Barbie dolls and desserts.
    When I was born, I came into the World with clenched fists.. and my great grandmother told my parents that means I have a part of my human nature that is very possessive and won’t let go.. … so with many of us, it takes a lot of inner restoration work from the Holy Spirit to get our hearts from being extremely selfish to focusing on Jesus alone.

    Praying that one day I will also be ready to have such an intimacy with the Lord. .. it takes my cooperation though with the Holy Spirit. Thanks so much for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Darling ALL babies come into the world with their fists clenched it is just a natural reflex – you must let go of word curses placed on you from people in your past – you are A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST (not even human any more – a child of Heaven) and their words cannot define you and should not still be impacting you – resolve to renounce ALL these negative things spoken over you and declare instead the Promises of your ABBA Father spoken over you xxx Love you Sis xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Rhonda x THANK YOU so much for this post it made me cry over and over as I related SO deeply with everything you wrote. I too have drawn back from Yeshua so many times because of the lies of the enemy of our souls. Only to return into Yeshua’s Presence and find Him waiting with open arms and never chiding me for my faithlessness. Even yesterday I returned to Him again after a period of avoiding our MAGIC times together because Satan had convinced me once again with his pernicious whisperings that he had bewitched me and that I was spending time with a “false Jesus” of his design…………Time and time again his words fly under the radar as you so insightfully say and his arrows pierce our hearts without us ever consciously realizing it. And we crash emotionally and walk as wounded for days even weeks until we realize through the ministrations of the Holy Spirit within us………Yesterday I came back into the Presence of my Beloved and instantly He was there waiting for me full of Love – He told me to go to the word and immediately He took me to Zechariah 2:5 ” For I MYSELF am to Her declares YHWH a wall of Fire all all around her and for her GLORY I AM IN HER”. He then said to me “today is the 13th February (I went and checked because I was not sure ) I do not observe pagan holidays but this is MY Valentines Card to you I LOVE YOU ” that really made me cry – I was returning full of shame and remorse and He had immediately reached out to me with such a beautiful gift truly no other word in the Bible could have touched my heart more at that moment and He knew it. How can we not love and adore such an AMAZING and GRACIOUS lover – Eternity will be needed to do it. I too have seen many amazing places in My open visions with Yeshua and He has shown me His Throne Room also. And yet I know Satan will again throw excrement on my beautiful visits and I will again doubt and fear to my shame……..but Yeshua is always waiting always loving and gracious to me. I look forward to meeting you dear sister and sharing Eternity together with Our Beloved. Thank you so much for showing me these attacks are common among the Bride and that I am not alone in these amazing experiences and also terrible weaknesses x a big hug from me in NZ xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Amen sis.. our Lord knows just how to reach us.. I wish I could have visions like this too, but He seems to reach me in other ways as long as I seek Him first. He truly is awesome and I didn’t even get to see Him face to face yet!
      love.. lisa

      Liked by 1 person

    • I had a similar suckerpunch from the enemy on the 1st of Jan this year, I prayed with the Lord and saw him sitting next to me and His presence was so sweet and then suddenly out of the blue i get hit with this voice, like with a brick stone in my head:”You are worshipping a demon”… I jumped away in panic and tears… oh! I believed it…!silly me…and i went under attack and depression for 2 days… until the Lord delivered me.

      Liked by 3 people

    • He’s managed to reveal Himself to me without me seeing Him physically, Sis! which I think is so awesome and I love His personality 🙂 I did get to see Him in the 1990’s one time outside in the night.. He was totally covered in Light and I thought He was an angel at first… but years later, I realized it was Him. God bless you sis!♥

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My eyes are still wet!!
    My heart breaks of all of us who don’t FULLY believe in our own fairy tales.
    Your story draws me nearer to JESUS.
    Thank you for sharing with all of us.
    Jeff

    Liked by 2 people

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