All dressed in daisies….. 6th June 2015
I came to the Lord in prayer and I found myself being led by the hand into a beautiful meadow full of daisies. As we walked across the meadow I looked down and I was wearing a dress made of daisies it was mid calf in length and full skirted. I had ribbons in my hair and looked much younger than I am now. The dress had a ribbon waistband and I was barefooted.
I said to the Lord …”I am surprised that you came so quickly Lord – I thought that you would not”.
***The day before I had had a big row with my nieghbour and although I had been respectful and not risen to the argument with him afterwards I was flooded with bad thoughts towards him. I had slept badly and lain awake wishing all manor of vengeance on him for being so mean spirited and unfair to me. That evening instead of coming to the Lord in prayer I felt so wretched and unhappy that I instead watched a movie and had a glass or two of wine. Knowing that I should have come to Yeshua to pour my heart out rather than seek solace in the world.
But Yeshua said “no I have been waiting for you – I expected you yesterday but you withdrew and went back into the World for comfort”. I said “sorry Lord I was overwhelmed with bad feelings and because of that I avoided you”. “All the more reason to press into me!” “Am I forgiven Lord?” “Yes you are – you did very well under the attack and the adversity – this was a test – there was no reconciling them …you were for peace but they were for war (Psalm120) nothing you said would have changed their hearts – but your reaction spoke to Jay. This was to strengthen you…see how far you have come – in the old days you would have been shaking and stammering – you were solid and stood your ground – you truly do only serve ME. And you refrained from attacking….well done! And you praised me out loud to Jay so that I got the Glory in it…..Thank You!
The meadow was filled with the Light of Heaven and the air was full of butterflies and birds and squirrels ran along the ground playing amongst some weeping willows that were off to the right next to a broad slow moving river – smooth water like glass.
We walked over to the trees and through their hanging branches and along a path that followed the river.
Suddenly I felt pangs of sadness as walking with Yeshua suddenly reminded me of walking with past lovers along country walks. Feelings of rejection surfaced as somehow the upset of the day before had released them. I remembered the day before I felt tearful and I couldn’t think why. The verbal attack had made me feel unprotected vulnerable uncovered and un-cherished…..As we walked along the path the memories of walking with others came to me …..of trying to find love – wanting to be loved – of allowing myself to make inferior love into something bigger and better than it truly was – of making an illusion of it in my heart knowing full well…..that it wasn’t real. That it wasn’t anywhere near good enough but out of the poverty of my soul desperately trying to construct a rickety illusion of being GOOD ENOUGH TO BE LOVED…. And yet seeing the indifference in the objects of my desire and knowing and feeling such deep pain in my heart………
Yeshua then said ”I do not love you that way and never will be indifferent to your love. I desire you wholeheartedly – nothing withheld – never measured…love full blown – ALWAYS! But I have felt the way that you do now whilst waiting for YOU! ( I was shocked and said Sorry Lord! ) He continued “it is the Human condition…. I look for the heart that LOVES and DESIRES ME. All those times you walked with OTHER lovers and felt the rejection – the lack…..I was with you too and I loved you WHOLLY. You were looking at your idols and I was looking at YOU. But I knew one day you would come. ( I embraced Him and asked “ How can you love me so much? I have treated you so badly) He continued “because you were shy and not able to witness for Me I GAVE YOU A MINISTRY OF SUFFERING…. . I use different things to make people acceptable for My Kingdom. Each brings its own rewards – none come here EMPTY HANDED…..I have found ways to make YOU ALL PROFITABLE…just like when Phil(my son aged 9) was little and you went out fishing and he couldn’t catch a fish. So you put a fish on his line so that he could catch one…..I AM the same……(so lovely).
When you all come into My Presence in prayer you purify yourselves..by being with ME…..All your cares fall away and like Moses you SHINE AFTERWARDS. The vision ended as a Large Lion strolled up to me and rubbed His Huge Head into my waist and nuzzled me……a show stopper for me 😀
shared by: ~ Debra Holland