My dear sister Clare,
My dear sister Clare
If the Lord leads you to do so then it will be alright, but i will explain some parts what exactly happened when he showed me things between him and me when he took me in my spirit to heaven ….the place was full of details i had the feeling i know this place very well. It seemed to be a place where my soul suits in and it felt home but it was more then this. The fragrance was full of my own soul but pure and divine. The Lord was standing by big large huge Bushes ….. and i could draw a picture of the whole place. There where two large Buildings like in a Villa Style. While this happened i was laying in bed i listened to worship Musik and i shivered and his spirit was moving down and up through my body and my soul…i got healed by each revelation i received….tears where running down my cheek and sometimes i laughed ……. in the Bushes there Where bottles of tears … in a hiding room when i saw the bushes i knew they where hiding a secret and i understood that those tears where mine I cried during my whole life Later He showed me in a very deep way that he cried much more for me then i did and that every tear he cried kept me alive in him drawing me each time back to Him. When i was seperatet from him He also had His bottles with tears standing in a line above mine. I asked Him if i can worship him for his love and felt like bowing down to his feet. I love to bow down to his feet and just kiss his feet and rest there! He said “you really love to do so” i said, “yes”. I wanted to cry on His feet and felt led to ask if i can pour out one bottle of my tears on his feet he said “yes”. When i did this i cried and was delivered and washed from deep pain inside my soul …many other things happened but i cant explain everything. He showed me two other places, too. Everything started with your song “Liberation” in your playlist on the channel. I was crying a lot because i was longing so much after Him and then i went to bed. I started to listen to the song and suddenly i found myself on a beach and i saw light shooting like little balls through the air… all of this matched to the song…. and i had the feeling that the sound and the things i saw where a part of my identity like those light balls he showed me that my heart is making a sound all the time like water that flows down in a stream. I saw in my spirit that my reasoning is like water before him that flows all the time like a stream he loves to listen to. Then He showed me my soul. i can’t explain it exactly it was just me- how he created me in a special way -so unique that i don’t have to look to other people because i am beautiful the way i am with all the details: my passion, the way i express my love, and so on. This was the very first experience like this ever …. i follow him now for over 20 years i had so many ups and downs and already huge revalations but he had to allow that the enemy could crush me because i was a very stubborn girl … i experienced a lot of things. Most of it where demons attacking me in the night. He always protected me and i could learn a lot about warfare …..but i always missed Him and a divine revelation about his Love …i complained a lot. I said to him ” why you just dont show up like you do with others?” …..”why i can’t see you?” He said “But you see me already with your spiritual eyes”. Now i understand that we have to be bolder when we come to him to get closer to Him ………and i said “but i really want to see you …..and i want to go home” (because i didn’t felt secure most of the time …the fear of getting separated from him was so strong ). He said, again, “The way I do it for now is the best for you” and i accept it. The conversations we had where much more complex than i can explain here but this was the bottom line. The biggest problem i had all the time was to face my broken self esteem ..He is working on this a long time ….i only felt loved when i could express myself through other people- sucking all the love out of them and looking all the time for attention. It made me a slave for people ….in the last three years i am going to consistent revival with repentance, brokenness, and loosing my life literally… and i had so much hunger for him that i just cry out to him most of the time with a heart full of thanksgiving for everything he did for me already ……ahh Clare it would fill up a thick book to explain everything in heaven! it will be revealed in just one moment to all my sisters and brothers if the Lord allows it…but i think you got a good picture now because you know by yourself what i am trying to explain ……. fact is since i found your channel i got bolder and i see a open land now with truth and justice, pure intimacy with my Lord and King and i know he is doing it because he will want me to be ready for Him. I almost cant believe it that He wants me for himself to be his Bride and wife forever but he is forcing me to really believe it…… He is trying to prove to me all the time that he really wanted me with his whole heart … he always is saying to me “My dove”. He did this already before i found your channel for years now…. he started to say those things over ten years ago but now i understand much more what he means by this. He is saying then “my beautiful one; My pure one; My dove”…….and now He is saying things like i have “eyes like a dove” ….In german it is something like “dovey eyes”. I understand that all of this is His character becoming flesh in me because he is like a dove,too- so sensitive ……….i only touched the surface with this e-mail- what just happened in the last two weeks but i have to close up now because the rest and most of it i will keep for us – for me and my Jesus – the One who ever cared for me, Who wanted me when nobody knew who i am truly in Him and who will for ever Love me. This is just a short testimony of his faith- fullness that he will reward us with Himself if we dont give up and search for Him with all of our heart and that he can make our heart complete in him . Also when we are still far away struggling with sin if we keep on trusting him that his power will make a way so never give up…dear ones of Jesus … i love you all…. we will be soon Home. It always will be soon; our life is so short this way or another. We are going to face eternity very soon.